EP 2: The Do Not Disturb Life

 Bismillahirrahmanirrahim 

Yesterday as I viewed my high school friend wedding day photos on Whatsapp status, I think that I’m the only one who was near the location of the wedding but didn’t have even an intention to go there. While the other friends who far away were awfully sad because they can’t even attend that wedding. The number one reason why I didn’t want to go is because I didn’t even close to the bride and we rarely talked during our high school time so it’s kinda awkward for an introverted person like me to go and say “hey, congrats on your wedding !!”, I can’t even say that “hey”. 

Next is because I have a bad memories at that school that will aches every inches of my heart when I thought about it. I change school quite a lot during my high school time and my memories at this school was the worse one. It can be forgiven but cannot be forgotten. That’s kinda tough. Number three, it was all just excuses I’ve made as an introverted to not socialize with people. That’s how quiet people deal with the rest of the world.  

Me? Quiet? That’s all how my friends describe me. But they’re all wrong, my true friend is the one who can say “ i never knew you were this loud” because once i got comfortable with a person, i can talk to her from day to night. Additionally, I’m the most loudest person ever if i was at home. That shows a fact that i have different personality when I’m with a different person. 

Quiet & peace life. It’s my dream people. It's a sign of "Do Not Disturb Me" & "Mind Your Own Business". When I’m at the university, i can say that i have 90% of my time alone. Yes alone. It’s not that I didn’t like some accompany but i prefer to be alone. Less talk, less hurt. With people rushing to secure their seats in our school bus to go to the class, i choose to walk. No rush to anything. I really enjoy the 15-20 minutes walk in the nature with a fresh air in the morning, quiet, no sound of the bus nor the people in the bus. It’s just me and the sound of the nature. Completely peace & calming. 

There's people who dreamed to be like me. They always asked where do I get the courage to do everything alone. I eat alone, I buy food alone, I go out alone, I take flight alone, I go to library alone. They even ask me as if I'm okay with that. excuse me. I'm totally find and it's not a lie, being alone teach me a lot of things, it teach me how to be strong, how to be independent, it teach me it's okay to cry, it's teach me to observe this noisy world, it teach me that at the end you also only have yourself. I think that I inherited this personality from my mom. My mom was quite an introvert and completely different compared to my dad who was an extrovert that made him start a random conversation with anyone he met out of no where. 

If you ask me about my dream, it is to live at the country side far from the city, opening a coffee shop with a view of a flower garden in a magical forest. My family always want to own a business, a real one, but we never have a plan to start it. we have a lot of ideas on what to sell, but with the shortage of budget, we let our plans slipped away. So I put it on my dream list to be a coffee shop owner where people release their stresses, take a sip of their favorite coffee, reading books, simply quiet and peace. 

And the rain just stopped as the time i was about to finish this episode, i can feel sort of cold breeze of the rain inside of my room. That's how this episode ends, see you next time peeps !